Plants vs. Zombies – Game Review

We all know a bout Pop Cap, the little indie game company that gave the world such cell phone games as bejeweled, and the widely popular Peggle. Well the masters of bored housewives games have now struck gold with their newest game, Plants vs. Zombies, a tower defense game that takes the new hottest villians on the block, zombies, and faces them against cuddly looking plant life. (Seriously, zombies have been coming up a lot recently. Not complaining :3) Tower defense games mostly populate the internet browser world of flash games, and consist of the user building an army of different types to defeat another army of different types, and to otherwise keep that secondary army from passing your defenses. Simple enough concept that Pop Cap has taken to a completely different level.

You thought it was going to just be a simple day. The sun is shining, your grass is cleanly cut, oh and a horde of zombies are calmly waiting to eat your brains across the street. Guess it’s time to do some gardening! Plants vs. Zombies makes you think quick on your feet as you choose between 48 different zombie fighting plants to face off against the crafty 26 types of zombies. Each new level in Adventure mode brings a new plant to your arsenal and a different variation of zombies to kill. With 50 levels in the adventure mode and multiple mini-games, puzzle modes, and survivor stages, you’ll never stop planting.

Something about this game just pulls you toward it’s creativity. First off I just love the zombies (and if you know me then you know I just love zombies.) Their are so many different shapes and forms that they come invading on your lawn in. From the normal zombies, to the traffic cone zombie, to the pogo zombie, and others like the bungee zombie. It just adds so many different levels of challenges to this game, but with those challenges come the different types of plants like the sunflower, the peashooter, and the repeater. It’s just a downright fun game that’ll have you enjoying every new add-on you get. Endless puzzle mode, survivor mode and the great Zen garden all help give this game longevity even after you’ve unlocked everything else.

I haven’t even mentioned one of the funniest parts of the game. Your good buddy throughout this entire ordeal, Crazy Dave. Dave will who up right from the start stating the obvious zombie invasion and just starts off with the craziest lines you could think of. When it finally comes down to defending your lawn, the best tip I could give you is to keep your sunflowers protected. Earning sun is the only way you can win against the undead intruders. Each plant has some amount of sun before they can be planted. The sunflower costs 50, the basic peashooter costs 100, the frozen peashooter costs 175, the walnut costs 50, the tallnut (n_n best character) costs 125, and it goes on and on. When you unlock the night mode and pool mode in adventure you get two plants that cost no sun, since during these events sunlight doesn’t naturally fall.

Alright, now to move on the few flaws. It’s a Pop Cap game so you know that it will have a repetitive nature to it (if you stick by it’s sense of humor and cute characters or not…) If you can stick by this game until the end you’ll find that the difficulty really doesn’t rise up at all. Sure the last boss can be a bit difficult the first time around, but he’ll be easy once you know all of his moves. Certain mini-games can be a bit challenging as well, but nothing that can’t be handled. You can also play the adventure mode over again with a harder difficulty, but if you’ve unlocked all the plants and have learned the basics of the game you still won’t find it to be difficult. I’m not going to knock it though, this game is unbelievably fun and with just those two flaws I really don’t see why you wouldn’t pay ten bucks on Steam to own it.

Plants vs Zombies Music Video that follows the credits of the game. It’s similar to last years hit title Portal’s ending song and is just as enjoyable. n_n

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Rating: 4/5

Pros: Great Humor. Best Tower Defense Game I’ve ever played. Lovable Characters. Thriller Zombies. :3

Cons: Can be repetitive if that bothers you. On the easy side.

Fast Food Panic! – Quick Review

If you’ve ever played Cooking Mama and have said to yourself…”What the f%#@ is the point of this game?!”…Then Fast Food Panic is for you. Fast Food Panic is a game for both the Nintendo Wii and the Nintendo Dual Screen (which is the version I played) and as obviously stated, it’s a cooking game. But, unlike Cooking Mama, you’re not just cooking for the pure enjoyment of letting it go to waste! No no! You’re cooking for your own little restaurant, with your own paying customers, and your waitress that runs the front of the house. You as the chef have a dream of having the greatest restaurant there is! This gives the game a goal to reach toward, unlike the stated competitor.

Alright, no more bashing Cooking Mama. Fast Food Panic starts off by giving the player a great manga like style fresh from Japan. It makes beating each level more enjoyable only because you know that afterward you’ll be enjoying a funny little short with your two main characters. Getting through each level to get to those shorts involve pleasing your paying customers. During the first stage the inspiring chef is introduced to sushi, which is easy enough to make. Two swoops with the stylus from a rice container (this game sometimes demands perfection when doing some tasks…for example if you don’t place the tip of the stylus just right you may not scoop up anything), a bit of pushing together to form a nice rice patty, and then a little memorization game for the two toppings and there you are! A nice sushi dish for your parturient. How well you preformed creating the dish will effect how much joy your customer gets from it. Each step in creating the dish is rated from bad, good, great, and perfect. It’s not hard to achieve a perfect, but accidents do happen and as the player will learn, this game can become very hectic very quickly. Different types of customers ranging from your average people, to critics, to the fatter customers who will order up 5 meals at a time, all help give this game a different challenge. Even the front of the house chips in with it’s own problems. It seems the customers have finished eating so you’ll have to tell the waitress to clean it up. Oh a mouse is running a muck? Call the waitress! Some guests have arrived! Don’t forget to greet them! Sometimes she’ll even scream for help that will trigger a brief mini-game that can include, ringing up the total bill, cleaning off a table, putting away the dishes, or even delivering food. All these of these events add to the joy meter that must be filled before the time runs out to beat each stage.

This would be the perfect little title for the Nintendo DS if it wasn’t for a few big flaws…

The first being the actual length of the game. This game only gives you fifteen stages. Fifteen! That’s nothing for a game like this! Most player will be able to breeze through this game in just a day and it’s really a sad fact! Sure you can play a harder difficulty if you haven’t already, but it just doesn’t seem as enjoyable without the expectation of a new challenge.

The next problem with this game is the lack of multiplayer! How am I suppose to play against my girlfriend if their isn’t even an option for it! We both loved this game but it just seems to spit in our face!

Last but not least…the mini games. They’re so passable that it just seems like they threw them in. I understand that the NDS was meant to be played with the stylus but when all you’re doing is furiously rubbing at the screen with no real reward at the end…why do it? The game is just making an excuse to scratch up the screen. Not all of the mini games are bad of course just a few really spoil the bunch.

Fast Food Panic…you could have been so great! Why, why did your developers gimp you so badly? It’s an enjoyable game, but don’t pay full price for it!

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Rating: 3/5

Pros: Strong gameplay elements. Enjoyable art style.
Cons: Way too short! Lackluster mini games! No multiplayer!

Land of the Lost (2009) – Movie Review

Land of the Lost is originally a kids television show that aired back in 1974. It was produced by the Krofft brothers, Sid and Marty. The characters that starred on the show were the Marshall family, Rick, Will, and Holly Marshall, who were on a ordinary expedition when suddenly something went wrong and found themselves falling randomly into a waterfall. When they awoke, they came to a strange world where they came face to face with dinosaurs, primate called the Pakuni (which were kind of interrupted as early forms human beings) , and the lizard species, the Sleestak.

A remake of the 1974 series was done in the early 1990’s which became one of my FAVORITE kid shows. I always wanted that DAGGER. >.< They only changed the names of the characters with a few more additional characters to the cast.

Now, in mythology or in science fiction, there came a time when people have talked about early human lifestyles and what type of other species that existed. I’m not too familiar with the subject, but they were labeled as the reptilian humanoids. Basically there saying that back in the day, human beings weren’t the only superior race with the ability to dominate the Earth. However, there are thousands of articles portraying another story saying we evolved from them or the unknown wars that early human beings won in order to continue to survive up until now.

In many cases, I do remember reptile like human beings used in video games during my SNES era. A great example would be Chrono Trigger, where you travel to nearly 10,000 BC (I think) to help Ayla, the prehistoric warrior fight the mighty lizard king that threaten to kill off the human race.

Anywhoooooo…

Land of the Lost in 2009 became a big budget film starring Will Ferrell as Dr. Rick Marshall, Anna Friel as Holly Cantrell, and Danny McBride as Will Stanton. The film is directed by Brad Silberling. If your a fan of the original TV show, this is a definite must see film due to the fact that most of things that occur during the film is based off the 1974 TV show.

The story starts out on television broadcast as Matt Lauer is hosting the Today show and is interviewing Dr. Rick Marshall. He discusses his research and asks him to explain it a little more in detail. Rick explains his theory on time warps and how it will save the world. After hearing about Rick’s theory, Matt was speechless and like everybody else, he labeled him as a nutcase and he's out of his mind. The interview went from bad to worse when Rick nearly attacked Matt.

Since that interview, Rick has been laughed at, and was nearly pushed down the latter in the science field to a teacher at George C. Page Museum where he gave his presentation about a device that can work to create time warps, the Tachyon amplifier. When all seemed lost for Rick, a very attractive woman came to his classroom and confronted him about his research. She introduced herself as Holly Cantrell and encouraged him to go back into his research. Rick had opposing decisions to whether or not continue his research and to create the device, but after a long night, Rick developed the Tachyon amplifier.

With no time to waste Holly and Rick traveled out to seek out a signal which the amplifier can detect and exert the particles which cause a tear in time and space for developing time warps. They get a strong reading in a cave and see that it is a tourist attraction, The Devils Cave. They meet up with the tour guide, Will Stanton and they head out into the cave in a raft.

As they are traveling in the cave, the device reacts to nearby particles and cause the cave to shift in the water path’s movement. The raft was traveling on its own downward as Will claimed he doesn’t know what is going on. Eventually the raft is lead into a waterfall as everybody onboard it fall.

Our main characters wake up in a parallel world where many things from 10,000 BC to anything from modern time where piled like garbage around the sand. The view of the sky looked as if they were on a different planet.

Holly is amazed by the accomplishment and looks toward Rick and asks him what this all means now.

Rick promptly is proud of his accomplishment and entering the Land of the Lost and proudly shouts, “Yes…I know what this means, MATT LAUER CAN SUCK IT!”

Aside from everybody else that was watching the film, I enjoyed it very much. I knew this film was going to be awesome for me at least since I knew the entire back story and it was really fun to see something from my childhood brought to life in a parody like CGI film. I admit, there are parts in the film that seemed like…ugh or meh…but it was all for the randomness I guess. And there were hilarious parts such as the GIANT Enemy Crab. xD

All in all, I give it a 3 out of 5 based on only the film ALONE.

FanBoy Statistic – 5 out of 5

Pixar’s UP – Movie Review

A few words for the audience.

I just wanted to start this review off by stating a few key things about the average movie theater viewer. You’re all a bunch of dickholes. Excuse me for being one of those few people who actually enjoy watching a movie they just spent good money for. Why? Why is it so hard for people to just put away their god damn cell phones for a close to two hour movie? You phony fucks growing up nowadays. Do you see those messages that us regular movie viewers must deal with because of assholes like you? Can’t you just put that piece of shit phone away, shut your fucking mouth, and for GOD SAKES just sit down and enjoy the film? Better yet..wait until the movie is on DVD and just sit at home and do your little fucking texting, that way your parents can actually see what worthless offspring they’ve given birth to.  What’s with these bitches nowadays who have to yell out their emotions during a film?

Bitch 1: Oh my god..that’s going to make me cry!
Bitch 2: That is SOOO funny!!
jb: *bashes their fucking skulls open*
jb: NO! You don’t say an emotion..you do it! Stop failing at life!

Oh..and if I ever see anyone taking pictures in front of me..let alone two sets of bitches letting off two flashes at the same time while the trailers are playing I will take the cameras and smash them against the walls. O___o Fucking kids these days are just ridiculous.

Now on to the movie!

In Pixar’s nature UP begins with a short called Partly Cloudy.

This cute little story takes the idea of the baby delivering stork and explains where these birds actually retrieve the precious newborns. Up in the skies the friendly clouds sculpt these babies (be it human or animal) out of the fluffy clouds and brings them to life with a bit of lightning. Gus, the main character and a bit of a loner compared to the other clouds, is a master at crafting only the most dangerous babies. Crocodiles, porcupines, rams, and other newborns all cause trouble for Gus’s ever so loyal stork Peck. But, when the babies become a bit too much to handle (hilarious outcomes with each one), poor Peck leaves Gus to find a new cloud friend. Gus’s emotions become eratic as he causes a thunderstorm followed by a brief rainstorm. Peck soon returns to Gus with a gift of football equipment to make him more suited for Gus’s dangerous newborns…that is until the eel comes. It’s a great little short that really gets you into the mood to watch UP.

I hope that five minute short really did lighten your mood, because after the first fifteen minutes of UP, you may just be crying in your seats and clinging to any love ones you may have near you. A very emotional twist leaves our main protagonist, Carl Fredricksen, a grumpy old man with sad thoughts of promises he could not keep to the love of his life. When life becomes too hard to stand, Fredricksen decides to finally keep one important promise he had made to his wife Ellie, to fly their home to Paradise Falls in South America. Carl met Ellie when they were both young after watching their idol Charles Muntz, a great explorer who traveled to far off lands with his canine companions. Using countless helium balloons, Fredricksen lifts up his house from it’s foundations and sets off on his adventure, urbanites to him that he had a stowaway. Russell, a Wilderness Explorer who happened to visit Carl the day before trying to earn his “assisting the elderly” badge, had returned the day of Fredrickson’s lift off because he had supposedly found the “snipe” that Carl had sent him out to find the day before. After the duo find trouble passing through large storm, they eventually end up in South America, on the wrong side of Paradise Falls. This is when the truly hilarious parts of the movie begin. You also meet (in my opinion) the most lovable characters Pixar has ever created.

 

Even as you just meet Dug the dog you just fall in love with him…sorta like how he falls in love with Carl when they first meet.

Dug: My name is Dug. I have just met you, and I love you.
[he jumps up on Carl]
Carl Fredricksen: Wha...
Dug: My master made me this collar. He is a good and smart master and he made me this collar so that I may speak. Squirrel!
[looks to distance for a few seconds]

Dug is thought of as an outcast of the pack. He’s tricked by the group leader Alpha into going out for a special mission (which is supposedly going to be a short on the DVD release). Like the rest of the pack, Dug is searching for the bird creature that was the cause of his master’s, Charles Muntz, lose of reputation and fame. On his search he meets and befriends Fredrickson and Russell and discovers that they have also found and befriended the bird who Russell quickly names Kevin. Dug requests Kevin become his prisoner in the cutest fashions. The group is eventually found by Muntz and taken aboard his airship as welcomed guests only to leave as his sworn enemy when it’s discovered that they’re protecting the bird. This leads to later actions scenes and that usual life changing event for the main character.

This is an all around great movie for any age. The humor is just spot on, the emotions are true to life, Dug and Kevin are beyond lovable. (I want the Disney store plush of him. o_o) You’ll want this film in your collection as soon as it comes out on DVD so you can watch it’s lovable goodness over and over again! Words just can’t do this movie justice, it’s something that shouldn’t be spoiled in a review but should be shared with good friends.

Rating: 5/5